2005 August 29

A Nikon example of why I *hate* rebates

Earlier this month I purchased a Nikon 70-300MM zoom lens. It had a $50 rebate. A letter from Nikon just arrived letting me know they declined paying me the rebate.

For those of you who’ve read my blog for awhile, you know I hate rebates. Rebating is a scam since roughly 30% of consumers apply for them and those that do — like I did with Nikon by dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s” — can still end up with nothing and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Rebates and “buy the extended warranty” are the dirty little unethical secrets in retail that’ll never stop until consumers wise up.

The letter from Nikon’s rebate folks above states the declination of the rebate was due to, “The Original Yellow Part-2 world-wide warranty form was not included. Copies are not acceptable.”

Absolute bullshit. I’m *very* meticulous and careful when providing rebate information (having been screwed in the past) and this was absolutely included. I went over the required items several times to make sure all the relevant items were in the envelope prior to sending. Of course, they also state in the letter, “Please be sure to resubmit all materials within 21 days of the date at the top of this letter to be eligible to receive your rebate.” Hmmm…not possible SINCE THE MISSING MATERIAL WAS IN THE ORIGINAL ENVELOPE!

I wrote a post awhile back about a very poor customer experience with Cisco’s Linksys business unit…and I’ve had approximately 1,200 separate pageviews of it (after people did Google searches for the Linksys WGA11B wireless game adaptor and clicked a link to that post) and I’ve got to believe that it has negatively impacted sales of their adaptor. Does Nikon want bad PR over $50? Well, they got it and it’s worth $50 to me to vent.

Oh yeah…did I mention that I HATE REBATES and that Tokina and Sigma lenses are looking more attractive today?

Filed Under: Commerce

Comedy writing on Amazon.com

Been thinking about getting a Segway. So last night I was online looking at Amazon.com’s listing of Segway’s and scrolled down to read the user reviews. Unbeknownst to me there’s a comedian among the reviewers!

A guy named, Smith T. Aames “s.t.a.” had written this in his Segway review, “When I hit 300 pounds, I knew something had to be done. When I walked from one end of the street to the other, my thighs rubbed painfully together, chafing my tender skin. Then I heard about the Segway. I knew as soon as I saw this incredible invention that my worries were over. I bought a Segway immediately, and for the most part, I am really pleased.” You’ve got to read it for yourself.

Then I clicked on, “See all my reviews” and saw that this guy had 13 pages filled with dozens of reviews for all kinds of products! (…and many a bit risque). Another hilarious example is his “review” of the Donald Trump doll:

The Donald is not The Doll for me, January 25, 2005

I bought this doll because I like Donald Trump. He’s a fine specimen of man. I wanted the doll so that I could satisfy some of my more primal urges for The Donald. However:

-The Donald Doll does not smell manly like Donald. It smells chemical like plastic.

-The Donald Doll is not anatomically correct. Its pants don’t even come off.

-The Donald Doll does not have real hair. Its hair doesn’t even move.

I still love Donald, but I will probably let my dog, Mexican Hairless McGee, bury the doll in the yard with the Scary Spice doll I bought last year.

If I had known stuff like this was being done on Amazon…I’d have read a lot more of these reviews. If stuff like this happens often (and I don’t know if it does), the rest of Jeff Bezos’ hair is sure to fall out…if he doesn’t pull it out himself.

Last but not least is one other I thought amusing:

DOG SWEATER WITH TWINKLING, LED FLASHING LIGHT!!
Offered by Parti Poodle Pet Supplies

Animal population control?, April 11, 2005
Tired of having a dog? Buy it this sweater, and it will off itself in just minutes following the howling laughter of all who see it.