Comedy writing on

Been thinking about getting a Segway. So last night I was online looking at’s listing of Segway’s and scrolled down to read the user reviews. Unbeknownst to me there’s a comedian among the reviewers!

A guy named, Smith T. Aames “s.t.a.” had written this in his Segway review, “When I hit 300 pounds, I knew something had to be done. When I walked from one end of the street to the other, my thighs rubbed painfully together, chafing my tender skin. Then I heard about the Segway. I knew as soon as I saw this incredible invention that my worries were over. I bought a Segway immediately, and for the most part, I am really pleased.” You’ve got to read it for yourself.

Then I clicked on, “See all my reviews” and saw that this guy had 13 pages filled with dozens of reviews for all kinds of products! (…and many a bit risque). Another hilarious example is his “review” of the Donald Trump doll:

The Donald is not The Doll for me,
January 25, 2005

I bought this doll because I like Donald Trump. He’s a fine specimen of man. I wanted the doll so that I could satisfy some of my more primal urges for The Donald. However:

-The Donald Doll does not smell manly like Donald. It smells chemical like plastic.

-The Donald Doll is not anatomically correct. Its pants don’t even come off.

-The Donald Doll does not have real hair. Its hair doesn’t even move.

I still love Donald, but I will probably let my dog, Mexican Hairless McGee, bury the doll in the yard with the Scary Spice doll I bought last year.

If I had known stuff like this was being done on Amazon…I’d have read a lot more of these reviews. If stuff like this happens often (and I don’t know if it does), the rest of Jeff Bezos’ hair is sure to fall out…if he doesn’t pull it out himself.

Last but not least is one other I thought amusing:


Offered by Parti Poodle Pet Supplies

Animal population control?, April 11, 2005
Tired of having a dog? Buy it this sweater, and it will off itself in just minutes following the howling laughter of all who see it.

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About Steve Borsch

Strategist. Learner. Idea Guy. Salesman. Connector of Dots. Friend. Husband & Dad. CEO. Janitor. More here.

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Connecting the Dots Podcast

Podcasting hit the mainstream in July of 2005 when Apple added podcast show support within iTunes. I'd seen this coming so started podcasting in May of 2005 and kept going until August of 2007. Unfortunately was never 'discovered' by national broadcasters, but made a delightfully large number of connections with people all over the world because of these shows. Click here to view the archive of my podcast posts.